Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That’s the biggest lie of childhood.
I’m in my mid-thirties, and I have been playing soccer for 30 years. I still vividly remember my select soccer coaches saying things about my passing and control, telling me that’s not my game. Those words still echo in my mind when I try to make a difficult pass or control the ball in traffic. Even though I’ve obviously improved those skills over the past twenty years, the same phrase keeps replaying: “That’s not your game.”
Words have the power to build up or destroy.
I teach middle school, and like every teacher I know, I have way too many posters in my classroom. One of my posters says, “Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, and your character becomes your fate.”
Our words shape our identity. If you constantly tell yourself you are dumb, you will believe it and start acting that way. On the other hand, if you tell yourself you are smart and funny, you will act that way, and it will become part of your identity.
This is why manifesting is such a popular trend right now. The idea is that saying something will happen and believing it might cause it to occur. According to MentalHealth.com, “Manifesting is the practice of focusing your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions to bring about a desired outcome or reality. The concept is often linked to the idea that positive thinking, visualization, and emotional alignment can ‘attract’ desired experiences, circumstances, or things into your life.”
Now, this new-age thought is obviously flawed, but like most lies, it contains a grain of truth that draws people in. Words and thoughts play a powerful role in our spiritual lives.
Remember—the universe was created with a word, and Jesus is called the Word!
Our pastor challenged us to pick a word for the year—a word to help us stay focused and grow in our relationship with Jesus. Just one word that will become part of our identity.
Words can bring us closer to God, but there are also certain words and ideas that hold us back from knowing Him in a deeper way. They keep us stuck right where we are: “Don’t go too far out in faith; stick close.” Or, “I don’t know enough to share my faith.” Or even, “Who am I to start that ministry?”
These words and ideas destroy true fellowship with God.
Today, we will explore five words that can hold us back: Fear, Pain, Pride, Comfort, and Anger. These aren’t just emotions or states of being; they are barriers that hinder us from fully walking in faith.
Before you read on, take a moment to reflect: Which one of these words holds you back the most? This is a personal and introspective question, so there are no wrong answers.
Fear?
Pain?
Pride?
Comfort?
Anger?
Proverbs 18:21 reminds us: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
Let’s examine these words and ideas together.
1. Fear: A Paralyzing Word
Fear, much like the weather across the U.S. this week, has the power to freeze us in our tracks.
Biblical Example: The Israelites at the Edge of the Promised Land (Numbers 13-14)
Numbers follows Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus in the Old Testament. Here’s a quick recap of what has happened so far:
God promises Abraham that his descendants will inherit the land.
Jacob and his sons move to Egypt to escape famine, but over time, the Israelites become enslaved by Pharaoh.
God delivers His people through the 10 Plagues, the Passover, and the parting of the Red Sea, where Israel crosses on dry ground and Pharaoh’s army is destroyed.
In the desert, God provides water from a rock, manna from heaven, and His commandments on Mount Sinai. He leads them by a cloud during the day and a pillar of fire by night.
Now, in the book of Numbers, spies are sent into Canaan to scout out the Promised Land. When the spies return, the people are gripped with fear, saying, “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes” (Numbers 13:33).
All those miracles, yet they are scared because the people in the land are too tall.
What Happened?
Their fear kept them from trusting God’s promise and stepping into the land He had already given them. God had already declared the land theirs, but fear paralyzed them.
Modern Examples of Fear
Fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown often keeps us from stepping out in faith—whether it’s sharing the gospel, starting a ministry, or making a life change God is calling us to. When we give in to fear, we miss the blessings God wants to give us. We miss the promises of joy and hope that come with walking in obedience.
If you’ve known me for a long time, you know I once thought Ben Simmons was the truth. The Australian basketball player had it all: speed, height, defense, incredible passing. But he couldn’t shoot—at all. His career was heading upward until one moment in Game 7 against the Hawks. In a tight fourth quarter, he had an easy layup but passed it off. He was too scared to take the shot. His team lost the game, and he faced endless ridicule. Fear paralyzed him in that moment, and it derailed his career.
Biblical Parallels
In the Bible, we see examples of fear paralyzing people:
Thomas, who doubted until he saw the risen Christ.
Mark, who deserted Paul and Barnabas on their missionary journey.
Peter and the disciples, who ran away and abandoned Jesus during His arrest.
Even so, God’s mercy is abundant. When we act out of fear and hesitate to follow His call, God doesn’t abandon us. He takes us back, redeems us, and can still use us for His purposes.
The Root of Fear
The failure to trust God is rooted in fear, and fear arises when we do not fully understand the sovereignty of God.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
We must confront our fears with the truth of God’s sovereignty and faithfulness. Fear can hold our faith back, but trusting in God’s power allows us to overcome it.
2. Pain: The Destroying Word
Our hurts and scars can hold us back. Many have endured great tragedy—far more than I could ever comprehend.
You pray earnestly and faithfully for your loved one to be healed, to be saved, or for your marriage to be restored. Yet, despite your prayers, they die, they walk away, or your life crumbles, leaving you to face intense suffering both outwardly and inwardly.
Biblical Example: Job's Friends and Job Himself (Job 2-3)
Job’s immense suffering led him to question God’s love and purpose. Instead of offering comfort or pointing Job to God, his friends focused on assigning blame, further deepening his despair.
Pain and suffering can blind us to God’s presence and purpose in our lives, straining and even destroying our relationship with Him.
The Impact of Pain on Faith
Many people turn away from God in times of loss, illness, or heartbreak, asking how a loving God could allow such pain. Pain, if left unchecked, can become an all-consuming distraction, preventing us from seeing God’s work in our lives and shaking our faith to its core.
Yet, pain itself is not inherently bad. It is natural and even good to feel pain in the face of tragedy—it reflects the loss of something valuable that God has given us. As Tim Keller said: “Suffering is unbearable if you aren’t certain that God is for you and with you.”
Biblical Hope in Pain
The Bible reminds us that God can bring purpose out of our pain:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
Pain can either pull us away from God or draw us closer to Him. In the midst of suffering, we all turn to something for comfort. The critical question is: where do we turn?
Do we turn to Christ, or to drink?
To Christ, or to sports?
To Christ, or to our phones, work, or games?
Instead of allowing pain to hold us back, we must remember that God can use it to shape us for His glory.
A Christian Response to Pain
What makes Christians different is not the absence of pain, but how we deal with it. We still suffer, but in our suffering, we find hope. As Job declared in the midst of his trials:
“Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.” (Job 13:15)
Our pain has the potential to draw us closer to God—if we let it. He is the ultimate healer, bringing restoration and comfort in His time. Healing from pain often takes time, and it requires us to process our emotions honestly. But through it all, God is faithful, walking with us every step of the way.
3. Pride: The Blinding Word
The third word that draws us away from God is pride.
Biblical Example: Pharaoh’s Pride (Exodus 7-12)
We’ve been studying Exodus in our Wednesday night Bible study, and just last week, we discussed how Pharaoh’s pride destroyed his nation and in the end himself.
The Egyptians—and Pharaoh himself—believed he was a god. Pharaoh, refusing to acknowledge his weakness or fear the true God, repeatedly resisted God’s command to let His people go. Despite witnessing God’s power through the plagues, Pharaoh clung to his position and defied God’s will.
Even Pharaoh’s own advisors, at multiple points, recognized the truth. They said, “This is the finger of God” and pleaded, “How long will you let this people be a stench to us? Let them go!” (Exodus 8:19; Exodus 10:7). But pride blinded Pharaoh to reality, and his stubbornness ultimately led to his nation’s downfall and the death of his firstborn son.
Examples of Pride
Pride often shows up as self-reliance or an unwillingness to admit we need God. It can prevent us from repenting, reconciling relationships, or even seeking help when we need it. Pride isolates us, putting ourselves at the center instead of God.
However, pride doesn’t always look like overt arrogance. It can be subtler— leading quickly to idolatry, where we replace God with something else. In refusing to acknowledge Him as King, we elevate idols in our hearts.
As Bob Dylan once sang, “You’ve got to serve somebody.” No one is truly an atheist; everyone worships something, whether they admit it or not.
A Literary Example
I’m currently reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, an author I enjoy. Her heroes are idealistic, while her villains are some of the most realistic antagonists encountered in fiction. Though Rand claimed to be an atheist, she worshiped humanity and achievement as her gods—specifically, the city of New York. To her, human achievement was the ultimate triumph, overcoming nature by sheer will.
Rand’s philosophy is flawed, though it contains partial truths. Yes, humanity can achieve incredible works of art and innovation, but these accomplishments should honor God, not glorify ourselves. As C.S. Lewis wrote, pride “is the complete anti-God state of mind.”
What Scripture Says About Pride
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)
Pride leads us away from God by convincing us that we are self-sufficient. But humility is a paradox: surrender leads to freedom. We think keeping ourselves on the throne will give us freedom, but it doesn’t—it enslaves us.
Understand this: every night, when you go to sleep, the world keeps turning, and billions of people will never know you even existed. Do not think too highly of yourself. Also, remember that even the air we breathe is a gift from God. We can’t even take a breath without the Almighty.
Conclusion
Pride blinds us to God’s sovereignty and grace, leading to spiritual destruction. But when we humble ourselves, acknowledge our dependence on Him, and surrender to His will, we experience true freedom and purpose in Him.
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4. Comfort: The Trapping Word
Many people are trapped by their comfort!
Biblical Example: The Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22)
The rich young ruler had it all—money, power, and youth! These are the very things our culture—and really, every culture—worships.
When Jesus looks at him, He loves him. This young man follows the law and appears to be the model citizen. If he were in the church today, he’d be someone we’d admire—a self-made man who does things the “right” way and whose life seems to be working out perfectly.
But what does Jesus say to him? “Give it all up.” Let go of the world’s comfort.
The rich young man wanted eternal life but couldn’t part with his possessions. His wealth brought him comfort, but it also trapped him, holding him back from fully following Jesus. Comfort can be deceptive, creating a false sense of security that keeps us from pursuing a deeper faith.
Another Biblical Example: Israel’s Desire for Comfort in the Wilderness
As I mentioned previously, in our Wednesday night Bible study, we’ve been going through Exodus. We’ve reached the point where the Israelites had escaped slavery in Egypt. They had been delivered from the brutal Egyptians, who had oppressed them, killed their firstborn sons, and increased their suffering.
Yet, shortly after crossing the Red Sea and experiencing God’s miraculous deliverance, what did they do? They complained that they had no bread and said they should go back to Egypt. It’s as though they said, ““I know we were enslaved, beaten, and forced to work all day, but at least we had the comfort of bread.”.
Their longing for the familiar comfort of Egypt blinded them to the freedom and blessings God was providing.
The Danger of Comfort in Our Lives
We live in a culture that values convenience and comfort. We love our digital pacifiers—our phones, our streaming services, and anything that distracts us from discomfort and having a difficult thought..
Often, we resist stepping out of our comfort zones to serve, sacrifice, or grow spiritually. Comfort can become an idol that lulls us into complacency. It whispers lies like:
“Not this time…”
“I can’t right now…”
“I’ve got too much going on to serve…”
“Next time for sure…”
As Francis Chan wrote, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
The Call to Step Out of Comfort
Jesus challenges us in the scriptures: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
True discipleship often requires stepping out of comfort and into obedience. It means trusting God even when it’s hard, inconvenient, or uncomfortable.
5. Anger: The Consuming Word
Injustice in the world can stir righteous anger, but when anger becomes self-centered or uncontrolled, it can destroy rather than build. Anger is a natural reaction, and Scripture tells us, “In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). We also see Jesus overturning tables in righteous anger. Anger itself is not a sin, but when left unchecked, it can consume us.
A Modern Example
Consider the murder of the United Healthcare CEO a few weeks ago. The murderer, who disappeared for a few days, became a cult hero to some. Posts about the event on Reddit had to be removed due to the flood of positive comments justifying the act—claiming it was “justice.” Even more shocking, a poll found that 41% of young voters aged 25 and under deemed the murder “acceptable.”
This reaction highlights how anger often arises from unmet expectations or perceived injustices. Many people have had terrible and unjust experiences with insurance and the healthcare industry, leading to deep-seated anger. But when anger is left unchecked, it can fester into resentment. It can even lead us to justify horrific acts, like celebrating someone’s cold-blooded murder and calling it “good.”
Biblical Example: Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:1-8)
Cain and Abel both made sacrifices to God. Abel’s sacrifice was accepted, while Cain’s was not. Instead of examining himself and seeking to make things right, Cain became bitter and angry.
Rather than directing his frustration inward or toward God in repentance, Cain let his anger at God and jealousy of Abel consume him. This unchecked anger eventually led to the first murder. His anger blinded him to God’s grace and hardened his heart.
The Danger of Anger
Anger can blind us to God’s goodness and harden our hearts against others. It distorts our perception of justice and feeds entitlement.
Think about what God has done for you: Jesus died on the cross for your sins! And yet, at the slightest injustice, we rage.
I’ll be honest—I’ve felt this. I can’t stand it when someone cuts me off in traffic and then slows down. Dude, you cut me off for what?
Last week I was driving to my parents’ house, and the exit was coming up. I was in the correct lane, driving responsibly. Then someone cut in where there wasn’t even space—bumper to bumper—and then left a two-car gap, letting others cut in front of him! It drove me insane!
I was furious. I had done everything right, and here comes this guy, slowing me down with no signal and absolute incompetence.
It’s easy for anger to consume us. Anger is often the expression of someone who feels entitled to something they have not received. It is the opposite of humility. Was it acceptable to be upset? Sure. But dwelling on it and seething? That’s where anger becomes a problem.
Ephesians 4:26-27 reminds us: “In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”
The Antidote to Anger
We must surrender our anger to God, allowing Him to bring healing and justice in His time. Remember what God has done for you: Jesus died on the cross for your sins.
Justice has been done, and it will ultimately be done perfectly in God’s timing. Everything will be made right, and His justice will far exceed anything we could ever achieve ourselves.
As Christians, we are called to let go of our anger and trust in God’s sovereignty. When we release our need for control and vengeance, we make space for His peace and healing to reign in our hearts.
Conclusion: Words That Liberate
Fear, pain, pride, comfort, and anger are words that can hold us back—but God’s Word gives us freedom.
Rachel Kenyon writes about how monkeys in Paraguay are trapped using coconuts. A small hole is cut into the coconut, just large enough for the monkey’s hand to slide in. Inside the coconut is a piece of fruit. The monkey easily slips its hand into the hole, but once it grabs the fruit, its fist becomes too large to pull back out. All the monkey has to do to escape is let go of the fruit—but it refuses. It clings to it, even as its captors approach with a rope to capture it.
We are just like that monkey. We hold on to our fear, pain, pride, comfort, and anger, and instead of living freely in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we allow these things to trap us.
These words—fear, pain, pride, comfort, and anger—keep us stuck right where we are. They whisper lies like, “Don’t go too far out in faith; stick close.”
But God’s Word tells us something different:
“I don’t know enough to share my faith.” Yes, you do. God has qualified you.
“Who am I to start that ministry?” You are a child of God.
“I’m hurting too much to help others.” You are the perfect person to help others who are going through the same pain.
“I don’t want to give up X.” You will find more joy in surrendering it to God than you ever had in holding on to it.
Replacing Negative Words with God’s Truth
We need to take the words that hold us back and replace them with the liberating truth of God’s Word:
Replace fear with trust in God’s promises.
Transform pain into perseverance by leaning into His purpose for your life.
Overcome pride with humility, acknowledging your dependence on God.
Step out of comfort into obedience, pursuing God’s calling no matter the cost.
Replace anger with forgiveness and trust in God’s justice—justice that was secured by Jesus at the cross.
Final Scripture
“Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Closing Thought
As we choose our word of the year, let it be a word that propels us toward God, not one that holds us back. Trust Him to break the chains of fear, pain, pride, comfort, and anger. Fix your eyes on Jesus, who is with you every step of the way, and live in the freedom He offers.